Today marks a new chapter of my blog. I will be writing a weekly post about my weight loss journey each Wednesday. I’m beyond excited to share this road ahead of me because I know that so many of us struggle with our weight, body image, and confidence at some point in our lives. Plus, not only will it hold me accountable but I’m happy to share my story. Why not in real-time?
Here we go.
For the rest of us, we have to be aware of what we are putting into our bodies. Some of us even live a lifelong, constant battle with food our whole lives. It’s hell. I know because I have struggled with my weight for pretty much my whole life beginning around age eight or so.
I was always the biggest girl in school. The one who was bullied so bad that I would dread going to school and P.E. class was like torture because the kids were so mean. One of the worst things that ever happened to me was in gym class. We had to change into our gym shorts and shirt each day. Well, we always started class with a few laps around the football field. I would obviously finish up sweating, breathing heavy, and my shorts would ride up between my legs because my thigh’s rubbed together.
I, specifically, remember being called a “fat, sweaty cow” by some of the popular boys. I also remember this being carried out for weeks and randomly finding “FSC” written all over my papers. I never wanted to attend P.E. again and would find any excuse to avoid it, and wearing those damn shorts, at all costs.
YEAH – that was my 8th grade experience back in 2000 and it took a huge toll on me. I hated life back then, had horribly low self-esteem, and shied away from a lot of things in life. Kids can be the cruelest and if you’re picked on, chances are it sticks with you (to some degree) forever.
Once I finally moved on – I took that negative time in my life and learned from it. I never wanted to be that unhappy, sad, or weak again. Although, weight would be something I would continue to struggle with for years, I never wanted to feel like that hopeless 8th grade girl.
Hitting Rock Bottom
I hadn’t – up until recently.
Last week, I found myself at rock bottom. Unhappy, depressed, stressed out, wanting to cry all the time, irritable, picking fights with my husband… completely LOST.
Looking at me from the outside, it makes no sense. In the last two years, I have been through a lot. Life can be a roller coaster and well, the last two years, have been the craziest, curviest, fastest, highest, lowest, and most unstable one ever. I want off and I totally need a puke bag.
Over the course of the last 18 months since my brain stem surgery, I have: survived a life-changing brain surgery, recovered, learned to live with a visual problem called nystagmus (involuntary shaking eyes) that changed the way I see, married my best friend, graduated from grad school, gone from not being able to swallow & being fed through a feeding tube to being able to swallow & feed myself again, a lot of stress and anxiety from “the first & hardest year of marriage,” in-law ordeals, the job search process, and on top of it all… gaining a tremendous amount of weight and losing my confidence.
To say “the weight crept up on me” is an understatement.
Being completely miserable at age 26, not loving every second of your life, just a year into your marriage, after almost losing your life, not being able to look at yourself in the mirror, and not wanting to be in any family photographs – welcome to my rock bottom.
My parents intervened last week. I knew it was time to get help and DO something for myself. On Friday, I signed up with a weight loss help center and Saturday, I started the program.
A FLIP SWITCHED in me these last few days. I realized that the only person who can change my life is ME. I don’t want to live the rest of my life unhappy in a body that I can’t stand. I don’t want to be unhealthy and have to deal with all these added health conditions. It’s not the life I want to continue living… I’d had ENOUGH.
It’s time to CHANGE my life forever. I’ve chosen a weight loss program in Houston to help me on my journey. It consists of a strict diet plan, keeping an honest daily food journal of everything I put in my mouth, and daily in-person counseling at one of the center’s locations. The program is teaching me to learn how to eat properly – portion control, what my body needs, and doesn’t need. Most of all, it’s teaching me how to have a healthy relationship with food. It’s teaching me a new way to live.
After all, to lose the amount of weight that I want to lose and living the life I envision for myself.. it has to be a LIFESTYLE change.
I could not be more excited about the road ahead of me!
My New Body/Life: “Now Under Construction”
I’m a work in progress and I hope you’ll join me on my weight loss journey and follow me into this new chapter of my life. I’ll be blogging about my experience on a minimum of at least one “Weight Loss Wednesday” post a week sharing my progress, struggles, inspirations, healthy recipes, weight loss tips, and more.
If you’re currently battling with your weight, I encourage you to contact me! Especially, if you’re looking for a weight loss buddy or support system. Let’s go down this road together, support each other, and work toward a happier, healthier life. We deserve it!